One of the dynamics that could make or break a peaceful home is family. Some familial relationships provide many childhood memories that linger into adulthood, fostering the desire to provide those same great memories for your own children. Other familial relationships turn out to be not so good and thoughts of home only brings pain to mind. Our individual starts become the motivators needed to create the kind of future that we want for ourselves, to include the building of family.
As a believer in the power of love, I can tell you from personal experience (like many others) that you can build your own family circle comprised of those who aren’t blood relatives. I have past familial memories that are mostly positive, but like a lot of us, there have also been some very negative experiences that I would love to forget but can’t. On the flip side, you could choose to build up those familial blood relationships by addressing specific events which caused the breakdown in your ties, helping to create an even stronger bond and support system for all involved.
The decision I made to create a new home space with my mother, sister, and my two nieces was after my divorce. It was a painful and emotional time for me, because I already had a home – newly built with my then husband – and I expected to be in THAT home until I left this earth. I was angry for a time at having to leave it, but it was what it was. He and his family were my family, and this was equally so as it related to me. But, when love packed up and left our house through the front door, all the monsters came creeping in through the back door. There were times when she would make an appearance at our home, but between us and the monsters we allowed inside, it made things seemingly impossible to bridge our fractured relationship. It was terribly torn and tattered.
Note to self (and to all of you other selves) – Let Love Always Rule in Your Home. This is the glue that will hold your family together and take you through any challenge if you allow it to come and do its work. Sometimes that work will take family members to a different place – a different home – due to the work of love, but the ties are still very strong and can be felt at any distance. Time and distance allow for healing and building, paving the way to either a restored or revised relationship.
Today I’m at peace with the fact that my ex-husband and I are friends, we love each other, and I’m grateful for having the opportunity to just talk again. I’m enjoying living in my current home with loved ones who also recognize the importance of family, and lastly, I’m thankful for love and all of the gifts that come with it – like forgiveness, mercy, and grace.